Since my last post concerning the Lego movie, and because of all the recent success surrounding toy-based movies like Transformers and GI-Joe. I decided to make a few pitches for other possible plaything motion pictures. For the most part, I'm veering away from the obvious. Smurfs, Care Bears, Cabbage Patch Dolls and Mr. Potato Head won't get a pitch from me. I'm also avoiding toys that wouldn't have a great box office draw. Let's face it, no one is going to go to a Lincoln Log movie and a Silly Putty versus Slinky flick won't cut the mustard. But there are some forgotten toys that I feel need my help. Toys that are too young for the antique shop and too old for the rummage sale.
Teddy Ruxpin
This is a toy I was never fortunate enough to had. But the commercials always amazed me, and I didn't rent some of his videos on VHS from Jones Intercable back in the day. Ruxpin was an animatronic teddy bear who had a tape-deck in his back that controlled his movements. Teddy Ruxpin also had a wormy caterpillar friend named Grubby. I think it's about time Ruxpin makes a comeback.
Any investors out there let me know and I'll start working on the script.
Alphie and Magic Mike
Artificial Intelligence is a subject that has captured the imaginations of many filmmakers.
A couple of AI toys I played with as a youngin' were the kid computer Alphie and the robot on wheels Magic Mike.
Alphie was an educational toy. You stuck flashcards in his belly and Alphie would make happy noises and flash his face, if you got it right. If you got it wrong he made a sad noise that made you feel like you had really let him down.
I got Magic Mike for Christmas one year. It was also the first year I ever found where my parents hid the presents. When you turned him on he started rolling around and would bounce of the wall and start going in a different direction. We used him to feed milkbones to our dog. The coolest part about Magic Mike was that he blew puffs of smoke out his mouth. But it did kind of stink up the house.
Maybe these guys would be better in supporting roles.
Rainbow Brite and Strawberry Shortcake
I didn't know a lot about the girl toys and cartoons, but there are a couple I remember.
Once I found a Strawberry Shortcake toy underneath the gum and candy bars by the cash register at a Red Owl grocery store. It smelled like you could eat it. But my mom told me some kid might have lost it and want it back, so I put it back underneath the gum.
From what I do remember about Rainbow Brite and Strawberry Shortcake both were super happy love everyone kind of characters. Maybe they should team up to fight Gargamel from the Smurfs.
Stretch Armstrong
Here's a guy who definitely deserves his own movie. I be a lot more kids had a Stretch Armstrong than a Green Lantern action figure. The look of tenacity on his face gave me the courage to carry on and take on all the challenges of childhood. Ok, maybe not. There have been some movies with heroes that have skills similar to Stretch. But Mr. Armstrong is an "everyman." All it takes to defeat him is a kid who pulls hard enough to make that weird goopy stuff ooze out.
I think it would be a great roll for Packers Linebacker AJ Hawk if he ever tried to act
Board Game Movies
I heard they're going to remake the Clue movie. So why not make a film out other board games. Take Hungry Hungry Hippos! If Pixar and Hasbro team up they could make some really memorable characters out of this game. Although it may not be great for preventing childhood obesity.
My other board game suggestions would be Mouse Trap for a kids Action Adventure film, (kind of like Jumanji in a cartoon world) and Don't Wake Daddy would make a great Family Comedy.
My Buddy
I never had one of these either. The only thing that made we want one was the kid in the commercial also had a Power Wheels truck and looked like he was having a lot of fun. I already had a Cabbage Patch Doll, and my parents probably figured that was enough dolls. There was also the Kid Sister doll for the girls. I don't know what exactly would make a good movie idea for a My Budy doll. I mean they already have Chuckie movies.
Bravestarr
Finally, my pet project, the Bravestarr movie. I usually have to jog memories pretty hard to get people to recall this cartoon and line of toys. It was all about a planet called New Texas and the Marshal Bravestarr who fought off the villain Tex Hex. It was created by the company Filmation, which also gave us Ghostbusters. Columbia Pictures bought the right to Ghostbusters, maybe they should do the same with Bravestarr. Here's the tagline to the Bravestarr cartoon.
We needed a hundred lawmen to tame New Texas. We got one. You know something? He was enough.
THE ANGRY PROPHET
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